Flirt While U Shop

Spring has sprung people! I am feeling warm all over, and I am ready to do something about it. Hee hee. Forgive me, I don't hold back much.

Seriously, I feel as though my vibe is stronger than ever. I am a magnet. The only thing missing is some follow through. Such is the story of my dating history. That is about to change. I'll make sure of it.

Do you ever notice how the warm weather can make people act kinda funny? Take today, for instance. I was driving home from my regular meeting and hit a stop light. A fire truck had just been there to check on someone, and they were driving in front of me. They were gorgeous, as is the requirement for being a firefighter, I guess. At least from my subjective opinion, they are all attractive in some way. Anyway, I waved to them as they turned right. For some strange reason, I thought I saw a green light. I drove through the intersection, noticing all the cross traffic coming toward me. I honked, and so did they. It took me a second to realize I was running a red light. Whoa.

Later, at Butterfly Beach, I was driving toward a good parking spot. It was late in the day, around 4:30. I did this on purpose so as to avoid heavy traffic everywhere. I saw someone packing up to leave on the other side. I made a U-turn near the end of the drive, but not quite. Suddenly, I saw a cop car facing me, stopped. I rolled down my window. I realized I had just driven across a double yellow line.

I apologized profusely, telling him I completely forgot. I was totally being honest. I do it frequently without thinking about it. I was driving about 2 miles an hour, so I did not expect to get the reaction he shot out at me. This cop was really pissed off. He barked at me, "It's not a question of forgetting. Do you realize if I gave you a citation right now, it would be over $300? And for what?" He even hurumphed. I said I was really sorry again, about to tell him I would never do it again. He let me go. I have never experienced such an aggressive response to such a minor infraction. I was not in a hurry, and would have gone all the way around, had I remembered what the hell I was doing. But it was like 95 degrees and humid. He was obviously not thrilled with his patrol route either.

I swear the heat definitely went to my head today. I have been really inattentive in the worst way. This whole weekend has been kinda nutty anyway. Lust is in the air, and I am not alone in feeling it. I find it especially interesting to go grocery shopping lately. What fun. Odds are definitely in my favor, as far as getting a date anytime in this century. In fact, I might even be busy as soon as the next few weeks. Who knows? It's been awhile, so I am unaccustomed to being treated to a meal, walk down State Street, a hike, or maybe even a sunset beach stroll. There are some ideas for any of you who would like to take me out. I told you, I am ready.

Would I get arrested if I jogged in the buff?

This weekend was so hot, I actually considered ditching my clothes. I am totally serious. I don't mean in the privacy of my own home. I am talking about 7am, in the neighborhood, sweating in 80 degree weather. Or at least it felt like it. I go running every morning, usually between 7-8am. Saturday I decided that I might risk getting arrested for pulic nudity. Incidentally, we ARE naked all the time, but clothing covers our parts. Clothing keeps us warm. Well, I did not need to stay warm. So, why bother?

I pondered whether I would actually have the cajones (that's balls en espanol) to be that nonconformist. Maybe I can start my own club for athletes who are tired of being confined by the cloth on their hot, muscular bodies. We will run together, get our pictures in the paper, be featured in the news. All that crap. And we will be so comfortable letting it all hang out. Go Club Naked, baby!

I felt a twinge of jealousy as I gazed at a shirtless young man walk by me yesterday. I told him my thoughts of just taking it all off, and lamented that I could not go without a shirt, although I had of course considered the possibility. I had just finished my meeting, so I was feeling a bit spiritual. I almost began a train of thought which included breaking gender norms and all that. I realize that clothing is ridiculous, really. We use it to sustain the illusion that we are different from each other somehow. We also connect it to sexuality.

So of course I had noticed that this guy was hot, in more ways than one (I am quoting 11 year old Paul, who said this of himself at my friend's daughter's bday party. Hilarious). This shirtless guy was hot, and I was horny. I admit it. Why else would I mention getting nude to beat the heat to a supposedly random stranger, while standing in a lovely sundress looking just as hot? Like I said, there's a sexual element to nudity in this country, and I am socialized this way, just like everyone else. Or I am just lookin for love in all the right places. Ha ha.

I have a proposition to make. I dare you to do something that violates a norm. I did this for an assignment once, and so much was revealed. Except my clothing...I did not take it that far. I invaded personal space, and took my guy friend out on a date which I paid for. I even opened his doors. That was silly. I will share more on that later. But first, I have a question.

*Weekly Challenge*

Would any of you risk possible ridicule and embarrassment, or even legal intervention by walking around your neighborhood in the nude?

If you could not bring yourself to do something this extreme, how far would you go to break a societal norm?

I was fully clothed all weekend. I wish I could have just gone for it, but I didn't have the guts. Please share your stories. Have fun!