The Sound of Silence

Last Wednesday, I participated in the Day Of Silence, which honors those being silenced by harrassment and violence every day in the GLBT community. Lawrence King, a 15 year old Oxnard boy, was one of these people. He was shot by a classmate for being homosexual and gender expression. If you would like to know more about this, please visit this website: http://dayofsilence.org/

I am rarely silent. I have plenty to share, and talk all the time. I always have something to say. Being completely silent (save a few accidental peeps) for about 5 hours was a spiritual experience for me. I plan on being silent once a week now, for a full day or at least a partial day. I found myself able to pick up on the chatter in the classroom, as well as the lectures. I was really listening. Often, when we have a burning desire to share something, our ears turn off. I found relief in not responding. There were times I would write in a notebook, out of necessity (group work) or to clear confusion about what I was communicating. Other times, I just wrote because I felt like talking. I feel like that was the most difficult part of the experience, because I had to make such an effort.

There are times when saying nothing is better than any words spoken aloud or even written down. I did notice that when I wrote an in class essay on "Love", I could express myself well, as though my thoughts were clearer when freed from the clutter of words spoken.

As I left campus for the day, I entered the freeway to begin my commute back home to Santa Barbara. I attempted to merge, as I noticed a woman driving too fast to let me in swiftly approaching. I had to veer to the right, almost off the road, to avoid her crashing into me. So, the first words out of my mouth were, "Oh my God, what the f*ck are you doing?!"

Once I recovered from the panicky feeling of the potential disaster, I had to laugh. However, I was disappointed that negativity poured out of my voice, after 5 hours of peaceful nonresistant silent time, so I remained silent for another 30 minutes of the drive. This included being mute to Jack Johnson and Ben Harper singing "With My Own Two Hands", but could not hold out for the entire song. It is just too beautiful not to sing along to.

What I thought would have been a challenge became a wonderful learning experience and quite calming. Who would have thought this chatterbox would actually welcome keeping quiet. But I did, and I will again. You may see more blogs from me on those days. I still have lots to share.

*Weekly Challenge*

I encourage any of you to be silent for at least one hour. Find a time when you know you will be uninterupted, and have no prior commitments involving kids or work, etc. Be around people talking. Share how it feels. If you have had a silent retreat before, please share your experiences. Thanks!


Enjoy the weekend all.

Would I get arrested if I jogged in the buff?

This weekend was so hot, I actually considered ditching my clothes. I am totally serious. I don't mean in the privacy of my own home. I am talking about 7am, in the neighborhood, sweating in 80 degree weather. Or at least it felt like it. I go running every morning, usually between 7-8am. Saturday I decided that I might risk getting arrested for pulic nudity. Incidentally, we ARE naked all the time, but clothing covers our parts. Clothing keeps us warm. Well, I did not need to stay warm. So, why bother?

I pondered whether I would actually have the cajones (that's balls en espanol) to be that nonconformist. Maybe I can start my own club for athletes who are tired of being confined by the cloth on their hot, muscular bodies. We will run together, get our pictures in the paper, be featured in the news. All that crap. And we will be so comfortable letting it all hang out. Go Club Naked, baby!

I felt a twinge of jealousy as I gazed at a shirtless young man walk by me yesterday. I told him my thoughts of just taking it all off, and lamented that I could not go without a shirt, although I had of course considered the possibility. I had just finished my meeting, so I was feeling a bit spiritual. I almost began a train of thought which included breaking gender norms and all that. I realize that clothing is ridiculous, really. We use it to sustain the illusion that we are different from each other somehow. We also connect it to sexuality.

So of course I had noticed that this guy was hot, in more ways than one (I am quoting 11 year old Paul, who said this of himself at my friend's daughter's bday party. Hilarious). This shirtless guy was hot, and I was horny. I admit it. Why else would I mention getting nude to beat the heat to a supposedly random stranger, while standing in a lovely sundress looking just as hot? Like I said, there's a sexual element to nudity in this country, and I am socialized this way, just like everyone else. Or I am just lookin for love in all the right places. Ha ha.

I have a proposition to make. I dare you to do something that violates a norm. I did this for an assignment once, and so much was revealed. Except my clothing...I did not take it that far. I invaded personal space, and took my guy friend out on a date which I paid for. I even opened his doors. That was silly. I will share more on that later. But first, I have a question.

*Weekly Challenge*

Would any of you risk possible ridicule and embarrassment, or even legal intervention by walking around your neighborhood in the nude?

If you could not bring yourself to do something this extreme, how far would you go to break a societal norm?

I was fully clothed all weekend. I wish I could have just gone for it, but I didn't have the guts. Please share your stories. Have fun!

Gossip Does Not Help With Levitating but Cannibalism makes me Hungry

I keep wondering if I could be offending Oral B guy. I wrote all over the internet (ie, blog) about his behavior with the ladies of Psych 312. Was this really necessary?

So...I want to say right now that what I comment on in my blog is for entertainment purposes only. I always write about what I know and what I observe. I merely tell it like I see it. With this guy, however, I feel as though I need to publicly acknowledge that I have shared a tad too many opinions about his character. Perhaps I ought to be looking at my own character instead? Hmm. Perhaps.

Other than that, life is absolutely fantastic. Today was Bizarre Behavior class. I am so fascinated by everything we learn in there. Yes, I do believe that Fridays are destined to be interesting blog days. We learned about cannibalism this morning, as Chemistry club put on a free BBQ.

**DISCLAIMER: What you are about to read is extremely graphic in nature. Although used for entertainment purposes, it is not recommended that anyone with a weak stomach read this, esp before a meal. OK, you have been properly warned.

We heard of a man named Armin Meiwes from Germany, who found a masochist named Bernd-Juergen Brande from the internet. Bernd was willing to offer his penis to be sauteed with garlic and eaten as a dinner for two. Bernd could not join Armin for this interesting meal, as he was too woozy from blood loss and too loaded on alcohol and pain killers. Two hours later, Armin slit his throat, hung him on meat hooks, cut off some chunks and BBQ'd the meat. Yum. (I am totally kidding).

Upon hearing this case study, my classmate leaned into me and said, "That's some one night stand!" (thanks Elissa). Sounds of me stifling laughter while talking about horrific acts of violence and grossness followed. Dr. Volkan even joined the fun and said he wouldn't comment on Germans not knowing how to prepare sausage. OMG I was rolling. You gotta laugh, you know, or this stuff could really get under your skin. Sorta leaves a bad taste in your mouth, doesn't it? Ha ha. I had to get another one in there.

Well, that ought to be enough bizarre behavior for one evening. That's just a taste of what we hear in class. If you want the entree, you will just have to sign up for it yourself. Bon Apetit!

Gandhi...or Ghandi?

I misspelled Gandhi when posting a forum yesterday, and was corrected. His name is not Ghandi. Someone replied and told me his friends from India told him that ghandi means something funny. I usually spell it correctly, but this time I made a typo.

Well, as motivated (read: obsessed) I am with knowing seemingly random facts, I got busy. I googled (this is now a verb, see?) the word ghandi. Turns out I am not the only one having trouble spelling his name. Even Google brought up Mahatma Ghandi as a legitimate spelling. I had to try really hard to find the true meaning of it too.

I finally found out that ghandi means "one who takes it in the ass" in Hindi. This took forever and a day to find out! I also learned that the West constantly misspells his name, partly because of the way Hindi letters are translated. I happen to believe the other reason is because we are arrogant as a nation and rarely stop to consider that the placement of a letter could offend someone from India. Although it has been done so often and for so long, I tend to wonder if they just laugh at our faux pas. We have such a drastically different alphabet too. I love the way Hindi looks. I want to learn to write like this...Here is some right now, just to demonstrate the beauty of the language.

This is actually Sanscrit: महात्मा mahātmā — "Great Soul" .
Gandhi was also called Bapu (Gujarati: બાપુ bāpu—"Father").

Here are some quotes on nonviolence from Gandhi Ji...

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall — think of it, always."

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?"

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

"There are many causes that I am prepared to die for but no causes that I am prepared to kill for."

"Be the change you want to see in the world." (this is by far my favorite quote)

I love learning new things.

Not sure yet...

I want to live my life with complete and utter abandon. That is, I am willing to just let things and people be, including myself! Living with complete abandon is not necessarily being out of control. Actually, what it means to me is I am living fully...free to express my feelings, observe my zillions of thoughts and not be attached to them, and be compassionately honest with myself and everyone around me.

On another seemingly unrelated note...I just read all sorts of opinions on the book by Eckhart Tolle called A New Earth. I got so entrenched by all the negativity and anger spewing forth, it made me just about as frustrated as the person venting. I guess an issue is that people in the Christian faith are offended. Well, some of them. No, correction. One of them. This one woman was posting like crazy about Jesus being our only savior, and we are all sinners, and essentially was mad at Eckhart Tolle, or warning us against him as a false prophet. Oh jeepers.

So of course I had to give her a little peace and love offering. Sometimes I wonder, however, if she can even hear that message, or is just reading it as her opposition to be reckoned with. And is my ego involved in what I told her, or am I truly helping by being calm and serene, and definitely spiritual? OK, I guess if I have to question it, I was not being as spiritual as I had hoped. But my heart was in the right place, clearly. See how our minds can take us where we need not go? Had I not began writing about this, I would have been satisfied with my response to her and moved on. Or not be satisfied, still moving on.

But, alas, I get sucked in. I get thrown into the chaos, and seem to welcome it, perhaps even enjoy it. Hmm. Could this be one of my character challenges. For all friends of Bill, that’s my positive version of "character defects". I just came up with that. You like? I love it.

Anyway, my addiction to drama is still alive and well. Back to this living with complete abandon. I conceptualize this as the ability to live life without the burden of fear that holds so many of us down. This fear causes us to feel pain in our bodies, and our spirits suffer. I am learning to live free from fear.

I have had this overwhelming fear of not doing it right. Here is another one of my character challenges...perfectionism. So today I am writing without any edits, save spelling/grammar fixes...progress, not perfection. Ha ha. I am really good at spotting grammatical errors. I might be a good editor, actually. But this perfectionISM holds me back from fully living. I end up judging myself and others for not being perfect enough.

The spiritual, sane part of me realizes that I am imperfectly perfect, just as I am. So is everyone else. I can be at times so accepting of others, I bring out the best in them. This is beautiful. Simultaneously, I can own my own power and love myself by setting and maintaining boundaries. What a precious gift.

I wrote to this Christian woman that books and language are simply tools. I hope that my tool was used as a way to be of service to her today. I sensed great anger (fear) from her. I relate. Been there, done that.

Again, in regard to living my life with complete abandon (I want to stay on task)...I believe I am getting closer. I have expanded my weekend trips. I used to just go to Blockbuster and Trader Joes’s. I actually went to a First Thursday event at my friend’s spa (which is at this web address, btw... http://www.thehealthgallery.com/ ) and got hemp milk at Lassen’s last week. Oooh, so exciting. Ha ha. Seriously, though, that is progress.

Peace and Love to all of y’all.

Vlad Clearly had Issues, but Kappa was merely flatulent

We learned about vampires and werewolves today in our Bizarre Behavior class. I love being assigned readings on vampires. How awesome it is to study the history and different ways the myth has played out in real life. We discussed two historical vampires, actual people who maimed and killed from blood lust.

The most infamous was Vlad the Impaler. Vlad was a contemporary rogue named Dracula, which means Son of the Devil. Vlad was born in 1431 in Transylvania, Hungary. As a boy, he and his brother were kept as hostages of the Turks, where they were forced to live until adulthood. He later took over the throne and formed an alliance with the Turks.Well, he had a thing about impaling. In 1569, he had an Easter Sunday feast for the townfolk. Vlad arrested most of the guests, and impaled the rest. On another occasion, he invited all those unfortunates-the poor, crippled, hungry. He fed them, then proceeded to lock the room and set it on fire. This was merely the beginning.

Vlad impaled 30,000 people in one day, for tax evasion. He also boiled and burned people alive, and disemboweled pregnant mothers. Turks had turbans nailed to their heads after they refused to remove them. Vlad was eventually imprisoned, but allowed freedom to come and go. Personally, this makes no sense to me...it's an oxymoron to be imprisoned and free at the same time. During this time, he continued to kill, and was known to impale animals and even insects. Aside from being horrified, I wondered what he used to impale an insect...a toothpick? This was one sick man.

On a much lighter note...We learned of the Japanese mythical creature named Kappa. This monkeylike critter with reptilian features has 3 ani (that is plural for anus, by the way...), which explains the powerful fart. Kappa-Maki is a popular sushi dish, named this because the Kappa finds cucumber is delicious. Kappa can function as a vampire, and has been blamed for bad events such as violence or disease. He stays powerful by keeping his head wet.

Another funny bit of trivia...werewolves are frequently sighted in Wisconsin. They are 7-8 feet tall, 400+ pounds, look like wolves, and stand upright like men. I wonder why Wisconsin has so many? Hmm.

I don’t know about you all, but I would much rather take my chances with the Kappa then to ever be near Vlad. Vlad was beyond bad. Farts I can handle.

Oral B Guy is so not a Smooth Operator

OK, so there’s this guy in my social psych class who one day mentioned using no toothpaste and an Oral B electric toothbrush. This was during a discussion on persuasion through advertising and marketing. He swore he was unaffected by advertising. Yet, he mentioned the brand name Oral B. I did not know his name.

After our exam today, about 5-6 of the women from the class gathered to compare answers and grumble about confusing questions. Essentially, we were holding a debriefing in the hallway. He approached and I said, "Oh, hey. You’re the Oral B guy, right? That’s how I remember you, from that day you mentioned using it." He did not clarify by offering his name.

Instead, he offered a kiss! This sounded so ridiculous. He was the only guy in a group of women, and we had amassed to about 8 of us. He said, "So, do you wanna kiss?" No one responded, so it was seemingly overlooked as a nonissue. I personally picked up on the cheesy pick up line, and immediately found enough humor to write about it in a blog.

I have been observing said Oral B guy for a few weeks, ever since he mentioned his dental care practices. He appears awkward and impulsive. He is the guy who will speak out when silence would definitely serve him. He strikes me as a bit socially inept. Mind you, we are all studying psychology to be either therapists or teachers. Oy vay, as my mom would say. I am so glad we are required to have our own therapy sessions before we begin our practice. I could just hear him saying to a client with relationship issues, "So, do you wanna kiss?"

He happened to be parked next to me this evening. He said a cheery "Goodbye, classmate" and took off to wherever life takes him. Thanks Oral B guy, for being our entertainment for the day.

Recycling Condoms?!? What will they think of next?

I read the following tip almost to the end, not realizing what day it was sent until late this afternoon. They sound quite serious about this. ..TR>


Is the third time really a charm?

The BiteYes, yes, yes! Everyone knows to turn used condoms inside-out for another go, but with a quick rinse, you can save additional latex and cash by using condoms three times before chucking ’em, instead of just two. Recycling just got 33% sexier.

The Benefits

Making cents while making love. Think of all the pennies you coulda saved if you’d adopted this tip during your slutty phase in college.

Saving the planet, one love glove at a time. According to science, if we don’t start reusing condoms more frequently, we’ll drive the wooly mammoth to extinction.
Pre-lubrication. Reusing saves lube too.

Personally Speaking...Condoms can tear during rinsing even if you’re careful, so be gentle. That said, we’ve been doing this for years, and it’s resulted in only three unexpected pregnancies.

Wanna Try?
Centers for Disease Control and Planned Parenthood - y’know, just in case.

April Fools, Biters! Feel free to pass this along...we’ll be busy sorting through the hate mail from readers who didn’t make it this far.

Information Police in SB?

I went for my walk this morning and noticed a woman tearing down flyers off of power poles. I had actually just been wondering what they might say, as they were across the street too far from view.

I was curious about her reason for doing this. Moreover, I was a little annoyed that she was taking it upon herself to remove what someone obviously wanted others to see. Where does she get off deciding what people should or should not read? Whatever happened to free speech? I eagerly anticipated seeing another flyer. I wanted to know what this was all about. Was she offended? If I were offended by it, would I have removed the flyers too? Perhaps the message was hateful, like a racial epithet.

Then again, freedom of speech includes words we do not all agree with. Hmm.

So, as I walked past Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic Church, I saw a flyer on the ground. This was different (I had seen a graphic of a face on the other ones).

This flyer said the following:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DOES YOUR FAITH ATTACK OTHER RELIGIONS?
___________________________________________
"In addition to being a lover of young boys and men, Jesus was prone to outbursts of temper and hatred." - L.Ron Hubbard, founder of Scientology
___________________________________________

LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT SCIENTOLOGY

www.bible.ca/scientology-christianity.compared.htm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I picked it up, I only glanced at the quote, so I believed this to be particularly offensive. Honestly, I believe it is offensive to spread negativity in general, even when exposing someone like L.Ron Hubbard for the ridiculous cult leader that he is. Anyway, I believed I had just stumbled upon the same kind of offensive material I had suspected this woman may have encountered (assuming she was offended). I burst out laughing, knowing that if I were to stand my ground, I would have to leave the other flyers alone. There were several stapled to trees, which was an additional annoyance. I had even said to myself earlier that I was glad the flyers weren’t attached to a tree.

So I kept the one, and left the rest of them on the trees. I do believe in freedom of speech, whether good, bad or indifferent.

I am grateful that I am able to own my power, use my voice to spread a message of peace, love, and compassion for all sentient beings. Even those who want to suppress it.

PS. I do not endorse nor condemn scientology or the belief in Jesus as the Messiah. However, I have strong leanings toward the teachings I’ve heard throughout my life that include messages of love and patience for all humankind. I am sure you can all guess who that might be. It ain’t Ron.

The Miracle of Waiting

There is magic in the space between. The more I chase a dream, the less I see of it. If I pause, and simply wait for the Great Universe to do its thing, everything I ever wanted starts happening. Other times all that I never wanted but definitely need begins to manifest. Isn’t it interesting that we often think we want or need a relationship or situation in our lives to be a certain way, and in fact we need quite another?

Often when I am unwilling to let go of the wishing, wanting, and running after someone or something, I fail to notice the space between. This is when everything is cooking. Some stuff needs to simmer a while to become full of delicious flavor, as intended.

Another miracle I get to witness these days is the result of my taking action. Sometimes we wonder when we will see the outcome of what we made happen. Well, I can see that I plant seeds. I tend to this garden we call life, and I can’t always see what will grow. Wait for it...I have been saying this to myself, as a gentle reminder to stay patient.

So this is why the concept of one day at a time always works. I may have goals and plans, but on a daily basis, I let go and focus on the here and now.

Today, I got a phone call. Tonight at 10:20pm, in fact. He called me drunk, and said he wants to get sober. I let him sleep it off, telling him to call in the morning. I called a couple of guys to see about going to a meeting tomorrow. I have waited for that call for a very long time. I heard the desperation in his voice, which I am familiar with on a cellular level. This brings me hope, as I found that desperation and utter despair to be the greatest gift I have ever received.

I am so grateful to be safe, sane, and sober. I am grateful to love myself, so that others may benefit.

Peace and Love my family. :)

Getting Unstuck Really Sucks

I have a pet peeve. It’s all about labels, security devices, and price tags in all the wrong places.

Last Friday I bought a Pyrex glass baking pan. The label affixed to the inside was nearly impossible to remove without some huge effort on my part. This involved a butter knife and a bad attitude. I was embarking on a new recipe for some eggplant parmesan I had never made before. I was taking a cake at the 8pm meeting. It was nearing 6pm. I was nervous. This was not what I signed up for.

I have been harboring a resentment towards this sticky label business for a while now. Grrr.

A couple of days before this, I was about to cook some stir fry with a wok my mom bought me from Ross for Christmas. The price tag was stuck to the bottom, and could not be removed without Goo Be Gone and some hatred toward Ross and all the lack of forethought behind labelling on cookware. What were they thinking? Goo Be Gone contains petroleum. Because of this, I use it sparingly if at all, and would never find myself using it on the bottom of a pan that will soon have fire beneath it. I suppose it was better than merely burning off the label. Hrmph.

Just a week previous to all this baloney, I decided to finally open a DVD I have had for a year or so. Office Space is funny, and this one I acquired was labelled as a "Special Edition". I found 3 separate security tapes around it. Apparently, this was so special it required a little added security. I needed a knife to open the case. Geez.

During this week, I casually began to peel the package of Trader Joe’s turkey slices. I tend to bring it almost immediately to my teeth, as this is harder than it appears. I am usually stubborn enough to keep chewing on the damn thing, and it eventually opens. This time was a no go. I yanked a knife out and sliced the package, feeling liberated.

The question that always comes to mind is this: Are we protecting ourselves from each other or ourselves? We have gone too far. Will we soon have security devices stuck on our bodies? Will we have celophane wrapping on each individual strawberry to protect us from poisons and germs? Will all the store shelves be locked to prevent stealing? We are paranoid, filled with fear that paralyzes us from fully living.

Life is messy. I plan on enjoying whatever risks come my way. I take precautions within reason. Then I let the rest go. Eventually I can also claim surrender to this obsession we have with sticky stuff.

Teenagers Get Blamed for Everything, Don't They?

Stereotyping Youth

Many stereotypes exist in our society today. There are plenty of preconceived ideas about particular ethnic, social, or cultural groups that affect everyone. A stereotype is a simplification or broad generalization made about a person or group of people. There is one particular group that is often overlooked as being stereotyped: our youth. Young people today face many challenges in our fast paced, media saturated society. Adolescents are caught between childhood and adulthood, and expected to behave as adults, causing misunderstanding and judgment. Teenagers become stereotyped as lazy, superficial, irresponsible, and cruel. Making generalizations about adolescents in this way is unfair because: they are making the challenging transition into adulthood, have adult expectations placed on them, and are heavily influenced by society at large.

First, teens are going through the most difficult stage of their young lives. They are maturing rapidly, heading towards adulthood, but are not quite ready to behave like a mature adult. They are still developing, and judging them as lazy or irresponsible hinders their delicate process. Adolescent development involves the learning of important life skills, which uses a lot of energy. Teens require between 10-12 hours of sleep per night, and usually are unable to, due to insomnia or other issues. Also, teens are developing their identity, or sense of self. This may present itself through excessive attention to one’s appearance, and focus on other superficialities like hairstyles and fashionable clothing. Young people have a tendency to forget important things to do, like calling home to check in, or doing homework before going out with friends. They are extremely self-centered at this stage of development, and in the process of learning how to prioritize. Sometimes teens are very irresponsible, but this does not include everyone at that age, at all times. In Adolescence, cruelty can arise as identities are threatened. This happens everywhere, and is not exclusive to teenagers.

Secondly, adolescents often have adult expectations placed on them. Adults see a fully grown person in front of them, and assume that their brain is also fully grown. Research has shown that the human brain is still developing at a rapid rate until the age of 30. So, teenagers have less impulse control. They will tend to make choices based on their impulse, and face negative consequences. This is a part of the learning process. With guidance, teens can learn to make smarter choices and grow into mature, responsible adults. Unrealistic expectations of our youth can also bring negative consequences to our society. We expect them to behave as adults, so they begin engaging in adult activities that they are not yet ready for. Parents and educators can benefit from teaching problem solving and social skills in adolescents, preparing them for young adulthood.

Finally, society at large has a powerful influence on our youth. Media and technology target young people, dictating how they should live. Inundated by advertisements on TV, radio, and magazines, teens make choices about what to wear and how to communicate. The internet is by far the most accessible source of information, allowing people of all ages to be influenced. Movies depict violence and disrespect toward women and people of color. Cell phones now have so many features, and can cost nearly $500. What is our society telling our youth? They are getting the message (by text, no doubt) that material wealth is beneficial and necessary. They are also being told that communication can be indirect and perfunctory, and perhaps should be. It is no surprise that youth in America, and now other countries like Japan and China, are considered superficial and lazy. They are constantly bombarded by cruelty in commercials and video games. Why visit someone in person when you can send them an IM? Our media centered culture perpetuates the stereotypes frequently used in describing our youth, and other targeted groups as a whole.

In conclusion, using stereotypes is hurtful and unfair to our youth, and society in general. It is important to realize the changes teens go through before reaching adulthood. It is naïve to assume that all teens are lazy, superficial, irresponsible, or cruel, with all the challenges they are facing during this time. Their transition into adulthood, the expectations made of them, and the influence of media, can make these years extremely difficult. So much learning takes place during adolescence. We need to allow them to make mistakes, offering our guidance and direction. Lessons are most valuable when people are allowed to fail as a part of the learning process. Failure is a necessary tool for growth, and inevitably leads to success, if given the chance for a do-over.

Aconsumerism and Abundance

I just made up a new word...at least I think it's new.

ACONSUMERISM: Without consumption...ie, the absence of consuming.

This is meant to take the place of "anti" consumerism, which literally means "against". I am not against consumerism, I just purposely refrain from being a consumer (ie, buying stuff) when I have no need. I prefer to engage in activities that encourage sharing, learning, and a sense of community. That's what aconsumerism does for me.

This is not to say that I do not consume. I just think before I buy. I am purchasing some items to make gifts this year, instead of spending hundreds of dollars on things that may be worthless next year.

I just read in the Independent that we spend an average of $859 on holiday gifts! This is reduced from $907 last year. No wonder so many Americans are in debt. There is no doubt that a majority of the purchases are by credit card, so the money is also being given to large corporations, not just our families and dear friends.

Just imagine other ways this money could be spent...

Money isn't going anywhere...yet. So maybe we could think of it as a useful tool, to bring goodness and equality to our fellow humans in the world. I can live without an ipod, or a brand new pair of jeans. But none of us live well without love.

Peace and love to all. :)

Sing Noel?

Holiday Celebrations

In theory, a holiday is a special day to celebrate family, friendship, and community. Ideally, we spend quality time with our family and friends, leaving us feeling loved. Holiday celebrations in America include Christmas, Thanksgiving, and birthdays. We also celebrate Halloween, Valentine’s Day, Independence Day, and Memorial Day. In fact, this country finds a reason to celebrate almost every month of the year. If we all celebrated simply to be together and have fun, we would not need to exchange gifts. A seemingly pleasant tradition of gift giving has escalated into a materialistic nightmare, as department stores open at dawn, catering to maniacal shoppers, eager to please their loved ones with the latest electronic devices. Consumerism has ruined Christmas, reducing the holiday to opportunistic retailers and media corporations, leaving the unfortunate consumer with a feeling of inadequacy and guilt, causing undue stress. Christmas is no longer a celebration of life and love, and is being used by our materialistic society as a method of brainwashing our citizens to believe that they need to buy something to be worthy of love.

First, this country has a serious problem with the concept of reality. While we make a mad rush to the mall, people in third world countries are running to the well for fresh water. When I get dressed in the morning, I have an entire closet filled with clothes to choose from. We forget that those in poverty may not even have a shirt on their back. So, when the time comes to celebrate Christmas, we can easily forget about true giving. Material possessions are of little importance if one’s family fails to be united in love and honoring one another. Spending time with family is a gift in itself. When the storefronts in America begin displaying Christmas items in early November, the message is one of urgent need to purchase gifts.

Secondly, we are constantly being reminded that we need to buy things to please our families. We can become convinced that we have to get something for someone. Newspapers and television commercials will tell us that our loved ones will only be happy if we get them the most cutting edge item available, like an iphone, listed at $500 retail price. For some, that is equivalent to half of a month’s rent. There is this idea that we all need to have more stuff, and buying things for people will make them happy. If that is true, why do we see so many unhappy people holiday shopping? There are frowns, sweaty brows, and scowls everywhere you look. Children are being scolded for becoming impatient while waiting in a line for an hour. Parents believe this is an unwarranted reaction, although they are about to yell at the person in front of them for taking too long. It is evident that holiday shopping is no longer a pleasant experience, filled with warmth and good cheer. People are filled with a sense of urgency, feeling undue pressure to buy the “perfect” gift for their significant other. On Christmas day, people hope that their gift is good enough for them. The moments spent with each other were lost in the parking lot of Macy’s.

Finally, our society has brainwashed us to believe that something outside of ourselves will give us well being. Gratification by external means only brings temporary relief. The only way to feel better is to give of ourselves. When we can bake sweets, knit a scarf, or simply be present at a family gathering, we can give the most precious gift of all: love. We spend time in traffic or waiting in line, when we could be spending it with our loved ones. We are all worthy of love, whether we show we care through giving a present, or just being there.

In conclusion, the holidays can be a time of warmth and loving gestures. The Christmas season has become too materialistic, causing people to behave in ways contrary to the spirit of the holiday. To preserve the true meaning of Christmas, we need to slow down and spend some quality time with those we love, instead of buying a bunch of stuff. Our country is overly focused on material possessions, and Christmas time is used to reap profits rather than sow love. Consumerism has distorted our vision of gift giving. Celebrating Christmas can be a relaxing, enjoyable experience one shares with family and friends, an opportunity to love and cherish one another.

[This was a composition I wrote for Spanish class...en ingles, y despues espanol.]