I have tried to suppress a memory, but it's impossible. I feel the need to share this. But...I even hesitated upon consideration of sharing it with anyone. I am totally embarrassed about something. So, I thought the easiest way to deal with it at this point is to share it with everyone.
OK, here's what happened. I have a MySpace page, and decided to add some of my students from the class at the high school where I used to work. I did this simply to keep in touch, since I quit working there to go to school full time, and knew that I'd be curious about what they are up to. Now, I have to admit that I have become quite attached to all of these kids, and have kept them on my page sort of as a means to check up on them. You know, I want to make sure they are not doing anything totally dangerous and see that they make smart choices now that they are growing up into sane, responsible young adults. At least they are almost adults.
Well, I saw something last night that made me seriously consider our boundary issues and their sound decision making skills. It's not that I haven't questioned either before now. I guess these issues became glaringly familiar, as I clicked on a bulletin of one such student. He stated "check this out hahahahahaa".
*DISCLAIMER: What I am about to convey may cause some to shudder with embarrassment and others to laugh uncontrollably. Here goes...
Check it out I did, as my curiosity got the best of me (as always). I saw the image of his face in a video. I hit play. What I saw was so inappropriate for public viewing, and is now etched in my mind as something I'd rather not have seen in my lifetime. Although what he was doing is perfectly natural, especially for a boy his age; but what the f#$% was he thinking airing something so private and personal to literally hundreds of friends?!?! Can we say attention-seeking? Ya think?
For those of you who are unfamiliar, the bulletins posted are sent to every friend on your page. He obviously wasn't thinking that his former teacher's aide would see him masturbating in plain view, destined to be scarred forever!!! OK, I am exaggerating just a bit. Like I said, I do recognize this as natural...but with the caveat that it is meant to be a private and personal event, at least here in our Western culture. I just have a really difficult time imagining that already, and he has unfortunately made it a lot easier to picture.
My first response was to email him immediately, advising him to think before he clicked, or whatever. I really wanted to tell him that was totally inappropriate and unnecessary, and get all parental about it. Then I stopped myself. What was I doing, giving him attention for something he knew would get precisely that response? I was not about to reinforce this behavior. So I turned off my computer, and seriouly thought of deleting him from my page.
These boundaries seem way too flimsy. I am not his mama. I am not even his staff anymore. What to do? He's a smart, talented kid acting like a jack ass. What are my motives? Why am I so attached to what all of them are up to? I cannot save them from themselves. Some lessons are better learned without interference from this wise, experienced adult. And who's to say I am that wise, anyway? I still make some choices that do not serve my best interest. I am still a work in progress.
Thank you for letting me share. I promise I will never share anything nearly as intimate as he just did. Ever. *sigh*
5 comments:
don't be too embarassed by that....certainly you aren't the one that needs to be embarassed - HE is. it wasn't ok what he did, but honestly...he's a boy. and a very young man for that matter it sounds like and it doesn't surprise me in the least bit. let it roll off your shoulders and down't think about it anymore. if he continues though, i would honestly think about sending him that "motherly" email you were going to send and delete him from your friends. it's not your place to necessarily be a motherly figure, but you are older and wiser (although all of us still make those um...interesting decision that we shouldn't from time to time) :)
good luck!
sorry i haven't visited in a while. i've been slacking on catching up with my blogroll.
~ namaste ~ my dear.
Methinks it's time to cut the apron strings and get off the pages of former students.
Akward! A video of someone masterbating is inappropriate - and at the very least it should be reported to myspace. It's just not the place for it.
You were right when you wrote that some things need to remain private.
I dunno. I'd still say something. Cause he probably wasn't thinking about a 'grown up' viewing it and maybe bringing that perspective to light might make him reconsider.
but...ew. Sorry you had to see that.
I just happened to stumble across this blog while googling for something totally unrelated, and I found the writing so captivating that I just had to stop and read a few posts. This Michelle has a way of expressing herself that is eloquent and evocative and any other superlatives you care to attach.
I just realized this is a very old post, and I apologize for posting my unrelated comment here, but I wanted to add one more comment to my post and couldn't find any way to edit.
Michelle doesn't mention in her profile what her occupation/career path is, but I hope it has something to do with authoring/writing.
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