4 years and 358 days...

Next week, on March 8, 2008, I will have 5 continuous years of sobriety. That's 1,825 days.

My life has changed so dramatically between now and then, sometimes it's difficult to articulate. I have a completely different outlook on life. I treat myself and others with love, respect, and dignity. That was not my story 5 years ago. I have the ability to accept what IS, and let go of what is NOT, most days. I am powerless over alcohol and drugs, yet I can own my own power to live fully without resorting to using them as a coping tool. I have a new set of tools today. I ask for help when needed, and give help when I can. I am growing into the person I am meant to be.
I am in the process of a spiritual exfoliation. This includes letting go of old stuff, in every sense of the word. I have chosen today to clean out my closet, and other areas of clutter. This is symbolic of opening up my heart to the life I have always wanted, but have often denied myself in the past. I am ready to empty out all of what I used to hold onto for fear I may fall apart. I can allow myself to breathe in the space I create, so that may let love in. I have been closed for way too long.

In our 12 step fellowship, some may say that I am no longer a newcomer. That being said, it is time to be even more accountable, and grow up. I never realized that growing up is hard to do, even for a grown woman. What I thought was a near mid-life crisis is really essential growth. It's time to move past my old relationship patterns, and prepare for a true life partnership. I have yearned for this, yet I have been incapable of letting go of my old behavior. Now I am so ready, my eyelashes are burning, my toenails hurt, and my hair is itching. I guess the point has been made abundantly clear.

Anyway, life is good. Thank you for letting me share this important turning point.

Much love to all.