This is my first raspberry of the season, & the first one grown by me! I ought to say it WAS the first, since I ate it already. It was delicious. Raspberries are my favorite fruit. And now, thanks to Chuy at our local farmer's market, I will have them all the time. He was kind enough to offer me a plant of my own last year for a small donation. I am ever so grateful. Yum.

Gratitude List

I am grateful for...

freedom

peace

honesty
recovery
friends
family
music
health
open mind
open space
humor
smiling
laughter
surrender
acceptance
empathy
intimacy
fertility
sleep
animals
nature
fitness
kids
communication
safety
sanity
clarity
compassion
creativity
respect
dignity
grace
support
guidance
direction

& LOVE...

Tra la la LAH!

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame. Baby, you give love…a bad name.”

My neighbor across the way has been singing again. Bon Jovi is not her usual, however. She is an opera singer.

I am privileged to listen to opera almost every night. This woman is apparently practicing for an upcoming performance. Although I do not typically welcome any loud noises while settling in and eventually drifting off to sleep, this is different. Her voice would never qualify as “noise”. She sounds so beautiful, I find myself opening my kitchen window and remaining quiet so as to get a taste of her arias. I am grateful to have my bathroom window open in her direction as well, so that she can sing me to sleep.

We have never met. I don’t even know where she lives. She has made me so relaxed, I forget that my other neighbors nearby have porch lights that could light up a football field, which might as well be shining directly into my bedroom.

She is MY opera singer. I am being serenaded by her sweet dulcet tones, and can almost feel the tension release upon hearing her first notes. I also have the tune called “Opera Singer” by Cake stuck in my head all the time now. So, when I am not home I often think of her. A part of me wishes for her to remain anonymous, so as to retain the mystery. Of course, I am also dying to put a face with the voice. For now, I will just enjoy my nightly concerto in the comfort of my adorable little home.

The Miracle of Waiting

There is magic in the space between. The more I chase a dream, the less I see of it. If I pause, and simply wait for the Great Universe to do its thing, everything I ever wanted starts happening. Other times all that I never wanted but definitely need begins to manifest. Isn’t it interesting that we often think we want or need a relationship or situation in our lives to be a certain way, and in fact we need quite another?

Often when I am unwilling to let go of the wishing, wanting, and running after someone or something, I fail to notice the space between. This is when everything is cooking. Some stuff needs to simmer a while to become full of delicious flavor, as intended.

Another miracle I get to witness these days is the result of my taking action. Sometimes we wonder when we will see the outcome of what we made happen. Well, I can see that I plant seeds. I tend to this garden we call life, and I can’t always see what will grow. Wait for it...I have been saying this to myself, as a gentle reminder to stay patient.

So this is why the concept of one day at a time always works. I may have goals and plans, but on a daily basis, I let go and focus on the here and now.

Today, I got a phone call. Tonight at 10:20pm, in fact. He called me drunk, and said he wants to get sober. I let him sleep it off, telling him to call in the morning. I called a couple of guys to see about going to a meeting tomorrow. I have waited for that call for a very long time. I heard the desperation in his voice, which I am familiar with on a cellular level. This brings me hope, as I found that desperation and utter despair to be the greatest gift I have ever received.

I am so grateful to be safe, sane, and sober. I am grateful to love myself, so that others may benefit.

Peace and Love my family. :)