Celebrating Life

I attended a memorial today, with a long reception following, filled with family and friends. We joined together to remember my friend's father, he himself unable to remember much in the last 14 years. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 1994. Riki came home to care for him alongside his mother, May, spending every day with him for the last 7 years. His name was Masanori Matsumura, and everyone called him Mas.

I met Riki's dad a few times through the years, but mostly we just said hello here and there and didn't talk much. Riki and my brother John were friends all through high school, so I didn't know Riki and his family too well.

Well, the last time I saw Mas was December 21st, 2007, just after Riki and I went to lunch. Mas was bundled up in blankets, eyes closed and watery. He had hiccups, which seemed to bother him. Riki and May played word games, rhyming with him to prompt words to come forth. Well, he said my name, in response to Riki singing "Michelle, my belle!" I was touched by this moment, witnessing an every day miracle. It was so powerful to watch this beautiful family staying connected. My visit was indescribably wonderful. I held hands with Mas, kissing him on the cheek as I said Goodbye. 3 weeks later, he let go. Now he is at peace.

As I watched the video that Riki produced, replete with childhood pictures, music, and tender words of love spoken to his "darling May", tears rolled down my face, as was the case with most of us. Laughter escaped our trembling lips, as Riki slipped in some very well placed humor for our hearts to smile. I saw pictures of Mas with his brother and sister, and then watched as Riki and his sisters appeared, closer than ever. Later, at the house, I was privileged to meet the entire Matsumura family present. Everyone was completely real, with smiles and tears abound. We had plenty of food and conversation, talking for hours. I watched Riki play with Lucy, friend Mary's 3 year old daughter. She proclaimed he'd play the daddy and she'd be the baby, and then they would switch. They adore each other, and I noticed how good he connects with kids.

I didn't want to leave early as I previously predicted. I skipped my class, and stayed until 8pm. When I did go, the remaining family members walked me to my car at the church around the corner. At one point, May and I walked arm and arm alone in the dark, and Riki joined us to ensure our safety. He reminded me of the flowers I had forgotten, having brought them to me. We all said our goodbyes, and I went home feeling warm and tired in the cold, winter night. Away from city lights, the stars shone brightly, sending us well wishes as changes come.

I have some personal changes happening lately, but I cannot imagine what it must feel like to suddenly have all this freedom to choose what to do for the day, when just weeks ago, Mas needed constant care. What does this mean for Riki, who put his adult life on hold for the past 7 years? Where will life lead him now?

I have fallen in love. I adore Riki and his entire family. This is one of those moments when I have to wonder...Why haven't I noticed this incredibly amazing person before? Such humility is often overlooked. He quietly and graciously put aside all that matters to him in his personal life to be with his father. He pursued his interests in film, yet within a limited capacity. Now he can plunge into the deep pool of life again. I hope I will be there when he does.

This I know for certain: I am grateful for being fully present today, able to be there for Riki, May, and the rest of the family. What an experience.

Peace and love to all of you!

~~Masanori "Mas" Matsumura~~
~August 16th, 1937-January 12th, 2008~